Haney, I Shrunk the Kids
by Dead Composer
Summary: Another of Brain's inventions goes awry. Oneshot.


"The atmosphere of Uranus is made up of methane crystals," George explained to his classmates during the presentation of his science project.  
  
"The atmosphere of my what?" Binky joked, and the kids burst into laughter.  
  
"Quiet, everyone," said Mr. Ratburn, who was seated at the teacher's desk.  
  
Once George had finished described the process by which he had formed methane crystals in a jar, he sat down and Brain rose to his feet. At the front of the room he had placed a large electronic device on a platform, next to a cage in which a frightened rat was scampering about.  
  
"For my science project I created a device that shrinks organic matter," he announced as he approached the device and flipped the power switch. "I will demonstrate its use by shrinking this rat. Don't worry, Mr. Ratburn, it's not one of your relatives."  
  
The teacher grinned slightly as the kids chuckled.  
  
Brain shifted the rat cage until it was directly in front of the molded glass tube that protruded from one end of the device. He then wrapped his fingers carefully around one of the dials on the control panel, which had four settings--small, very small, extremely small, and 'poof!'.  
  
The students could hear a turbine inside of the machine begin to whine as Brain turned the dial to the small setting. As they watched carefully and speechlessly, the imprisoned rat diminished in size until it was roughly equal to a baby hamster. "Oooooh," the kids marveled. Brain smiled proudly.  
  
"That's cool, Brain," said Buster. "Can I use it on my homework?"  
  
The kids laughed again. Then something strange began to happen.  
  
The shrinking device started to make beeping noises. The needle in the temperature gauge shot into the red zone. Smoke poured from the interior of the unit. "Omigosh, it's overheating!" cried Brain in horror. He thrust his hands toward the power switch, but too late...  
  
KABLOOIE!  
  
The shower of steam and sparks nearly blinded Brain. When he recovered his wits and gazed upon the fuming ruins of his invention, something terrifying occurred to him.  
  
The rat in the cage had disappeared. Mr. Ratburn was no longer sitting at his desk.  
  
All the other kids had vanished as well.  
  
Where each one of them had been, there was now a haphazard pile of clothing and a pair of shoes on the floor. Francine's red blouse and blue jeans were awkwardly flung over the seat of her desk, Arthur's glasses were resting on his sweater and pants, and so on.  
  
It took Brain a few seconds to recover from the surprise. Where had they all gone? he wondered. Had they run away from the impending explosion? If so, then why had they bothered to take off all their clothes?  
  
Then another possibility dawned on him. Had the device malfunctioned and shrunk them all? It was too awful to contemplate.  
  
One thing was certain. If the kids were now the size of peas, they ran the risk of being smothered by their own clothing. He had to act quickly. Lives were at stake...  
  
Grabbing a magnifying glass from his backpack, he quickly stepped over to Fern's desk. As he carefully stuck his hand under the blue dress that was draped over the chair, he realized that he might learn a little more about the girl than he really wanted to know...  
  
...so he opted to start with Arthur instead.  
  
After moving the glasses onto the top of the desk, Brain cautiously lifted the yellow sweater and allowed its bottom to hang. For a moment it seemed that something tiny, no larger than a piece of lint, had fallen from the sweater and landed on the surface of the brown pants.  
  
He moved his head closer, and placed the magnifying glass in front of his eye. It wasn't long before...something...came into focus.  
  
Arthur, naked and confused, stood in the midst of a corduroy prairie, no more than a millimeter in height. His unbespectacled eyes resembled little black dots. He seemed to be calling out for aid, but no voice was audible.  
  
Brain gasped at the sight.  
  
Unfortunately, his gasp was strong enough to create a wind current that swept up the miniscule Arthur...and pulled him into Brain's mouth.  
  
Horrified, Brain slammed his mouth shut. Was it too late? Frantic, he scanned the surface of Arthur's pants over and over, but saw nothing but flakes of dust. Then he explored the region of the floor surrounding Arthur's abandoned shoes, but again found no trace of the shrunken boy.  
  
Brain felt his heart twisting. Even if he found a way to unshrink the other children, he could never forgive himself for what he had just done.  
  
An expression of utter desolation enveloped his face as he straightened up and lowered the magnifying glass. Arthur Read, who had been his friend and companion through countless adventures, was now digesting in his stomach, beyond any hope of rescue.  
  
He barely registered the classroom door flying open behind him. "I heard a noise," came Principal Haney's voice. "Where is everybody?"  
  
As Brain struggled to think of a convincing excuse, he suddenly recognized that he was lying in his bed in a dark room. Slivers of moonlight were creeping in between the closed blinds.  
  
It had been a dream. He hadn't swallowed Arthur. All was right with the world. "Whew," he gasped in relief.  
  
He looked over to the left. In the dim light he could make out the silhouette of an electronic device resting on a table. Next to it sat a cage, and inside the cage a sleeping rat's torso heaved up and down.  
  
"Note to self," mumbled Brain as he pulled the quilt up to his neck. "Wear a surgical mask." 


End file.
